The Date:-July.
The Time:-16:20 or Twenty Past Four in the Afternoon.
So, at 4.20 in July in the year 1620 the Pilgrim Fathers set sail in the Mayflower for the New World across the Atlantic.
It wasn't actually a 'New World' as such, more like 'a Different Country/Continent'.
In the previous few years they had left 'Dear Old Blighty' and gone to live in Holland, (where no doubt they'd been appalled at the number of Australian backpackers getting drunk, shagging Hookers and scoring Weed), so they had been in discussion with a Bloke about securing Passage across the Ocean. He had agreed and they were to meet him in Plymouth, UK and board his Ship called the Mayflower.
They arrived in Plymouth, UK.
Actual Plymouth UK today.
They enjoyed a pleasant afternoon by the Sea, drinking Fizzy Drinks and eating Ice Cream before they boarded their Ship.
The time came and they Weighed the Anchor. It was 184lb's. Then they Weyed Anchor and set sail for the New World aboard the Mayflower.
Actual Mayflower today.
Sensible Jone's Ancestors were so late for this that they set off in the Julyflower and hoped to catch them up!
Actual Julyflower in 1620.
Unfortunately they got about 30 miles out to Sea and ran out of Petrol and had to Row all the way back to Plymouth, UK.
Meanwhile the Mayflower was forging ahead across the Atlantic and would soon be running aground in the New World.
Aside from a Run-in with some Pirates they had a completely boring Cruise.
Actual Penguin Pirates yesterday.
It was now November and the New World was sighted off the Starboard Bow (whatever the fuck that means), and they set foot in the New World at 'Plymouth Rock'!!!!
What a fucking coincidence, huh??
What's the chances of that??
Leaving England and then travelling 3000 miles to an unknown place and the place where you land having the same name as the place you started from???
Actual people may vary due to this being a painting.
Yet another fortuitous coincidence was that of there being a Portrait Painter sat on the very Beach where they landed!!
After having had their Portrait's painted the New Arrivals did what all good English Tourists do and carved a piece of Graffiti into the nearest thing!!
Actual graffiti carved by actual English Tourist.
Being British, they soon settled into a routine and it wasn't long before they'd built a Football Stadium, 3 Pubs and a Fish 'n' Chip Shop.
Not long after that, the 'Locals' came to have a look at their new 'Uninvited Guests'!
Actual 'Locals' may vary due to these being Waxworks.
It was at about this time that Sensible Jone's ancestor had finished swimming across the Atlantic, after having fallen out of the Julyflower and starting to swim off in the wrong direction.
He was soon the Focus of interest for some of the 'Locals'!!!
Actual interested Locals yesterday.
After having had a great first Season's Football the new Inhabitants decided to have a lavish celebratory Dinner and invited all the 'Locals' and even Sensible Jone's Ancestor!!!
Actual Sensible Jones' Ancestor still in his Formal Football Kit.
The Womenfolk set out Tables and Chairs for everyone!!!
Then they set about the task of preparing such a huge, sumptuous Feast!!!
And that is the story of how my Ancestor invented Thanksgiving!!
This has been a Giving Thanks kind of Sensible Service Announcement.
I thank you.
PS.
Please note that nowhere in this Blog was anyone referred to as an 'Indian' as we all know that 'Indians' actually evolved in 'India'!
In fact, there is only one person from the New World that could have been called 'Indian' and that was 'Indian Larry', well known Bike Builder!!!
RIP.
Also, I would just like to point out the difference of going into a Shop and asking for an 'Indian' over there and over here.
Over there in the New World you more than likely, upon asking for an 'Indian', to be served one of these:-
Or perhaps one of these:-
(Please don't ask me to explain the difference!!!)
Over here I would more than likely receive something like this:-
So, on that Nutritional Note I shall wish you all a 'Happy Get Stuffed by eating too much Day'!!!
